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Secret Stash

June 15th, 2010 at 04:34 pm

I was reading an article in the finance section of yahoo.com on divorce-inducing money fights. The article mentions that having a secret stash may be considered as financial infedelity. I don't have a secret stash, but I do set aside a certain amount of money to be used without giving my spouse an explanation on how I spent the money or having to be account for everything I buy. Do you have a secret stash?

6 Responses to “Secret Stash”

  1. gamecock43 Says:

    I dont because BB trusts me to handle everything and never even looks at the accounts. If he was as into every detail as I am...I would have a stash or demand that he cannot critique all my purchases.

  2. whitestripe Says:

    No. Though if either of us wanted a 'stash' it wouldn't have to be secret. We do have an allotted amount that we can spend without having to explain it each week, maybe that negates the need for a stash? I don't know.

  3. momcents Says:


    I think a secret stash is helpful if a woman is planning to leave an abusive relationship. If a couple is in a committed relationship with good communication, the stash probably isn't necessary. We've got no stash here, but then again - our money is pretty tight right now with little left to fritter away!

  4. Ima saver Says:

    No, but we each get an allowance to do with, what we want!

  5. skydivingchic Says:

    I personally believe everyone should have a stash of money, secret or not, which would allow them to walk away from their relationship. I have my EF and one of the "permissible" reasons for using it would be to walk away should I ever feel the need. This stash of money is no secret to DBF - he is fully aware it exists. I certainly never anticipate using the money for this reason, but it is a matter of having the power and ability to walk away if need be. I've seen too many horror stories of people trapped in bad relationships without the means to get themselves out of the situation to be willing to take the risk.

  6. monkeymama Says:

    Well, is it a secret? Does your spouse know you set aside that money?

    I didn't realize a "secret stash" could be considered financial infidelity. Any woman I know who is married for 2nd+ time, keeps a secret stash. Self preservation. I also know women who are stuck in a rock and a hard place because they have no control over the money. I have to agree with skydivingchic. I don't have a separate account, but I do control all of the bank accounts, and have an income. If I got so pissed that I felt the need to hide everything from my non-working dh (which I could never see doing), he has the means/safety net to walk away. I do know too many people who feel "financially trapped" in their marriage right now. Two finally had the guts to walk away, and are doing fine, but they would have done it a LOT sooner if they had any cash in their name or under their own control.

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